When we are young, we feel that this is so much possibility around us. We feel that we can be, do, and have anything, and we are encouraged to think that until we get older and all society wants us to do is go to college and choose from the narrow list of careers that a degree can get you. Of course, this doesn’t happen to all people. Sometimes there is an idea that someone has that is just too big for the system to handle and they have to build, grow, and change the world lease be driven mad by it.
I have no idea what my path is, but it’s something that I’ve been thinking a lot about in the last couple of weeks. Not so much, “who am I?” as “who do I want to be?”
As I am standing at this crossroads, I’ve found that I don’t like the direction that I am headed. I am walking toward the same thing that I have been walking toward all my life – a false sense of safety in order to do the things that society tells me to do. The other side of this is a feeling of fear and excitement that comes up when I look at my other options, at things that I have wanted to do for years but have never taken the initiative to do.
I always thought I wanted a simple life… but maybe the simple life I can imagine isn’t for me. Maybe some part of me longs for the adventure that comes with leaping into the unknown because right now the safe choice looks like a death sentence.
And that’s why it’s a question of who do I want to become in this life? Who do I choose to become in this life? I don’t think it’s a question that we ask ourselves enough. Do you want to be someone who works 80 hours a week for a corporate company? Cool, do it or don’t. Do you want to be an artist? A marathon runner? Paint pictures of nothing but cute tiny puppies? Cool, do it, or don’t. But will you be able to live with yourself later in life if you stayed on the same path as everyone else and never went and did the thing you wanted? Will you regret it?
Before I woke up all I cared about was getting money to pay my bills, now all I care about is making the choice that will give me the most joy. I have lived the other way, constantly plagued by fear and anxiety, and I’m tired of being that person. I need to do more with my life than just make sure my bills are paid.
What do you need to do with your life?
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