There is something about the energy of the new year that gives us the hope that something can change. It allows the mind to have a jumping-off point that can allow us to create lasting change in our lives.
I know that last year was my line in the sand. It was about mid-January and things were slowing down at work and I decided that something had to change. That I was miserable where I was and I couldn’t seem to break the cycle that I had been trapped in.
I decided that I needed to find ways to invest in myself, to find happiness (if I could), and to create a different life for myself. That was really all of the direction I gave myself because I had no idea where I was going.
I started meditating more consistently, journaling, and I worked with my first coach. It was a woman I had been following on Facebook for about a year and I really liked her style and enthusiasm. She was having a special for February and I jumped on board.
I learned two things during that month. One, working with a coach who can help you work through problems, issues, or challenges gives you much more leverage to fix them than if you’re working through them on your own. Two, even if you really like someone, they aren’t always the best person to work with at the time.
The women I worked with focuses mainly on business and I wasn’t at a point in my journey where I could really build anything. Not that I didn’t have the skills – I didn’t have the mindset.
After about a month I decided to reach out to another coach I had found through a podcast. Really all I knew about him was he dealt with the spiritual side of things and I felt that that was more of what I needed.
I had been working with him for about three months when I had a major shift – a spiritual awakening. I suddenly understood that I was a spiritual being having a human experience. Looking back… was it luck that I found the person who would lead me down that path or was I divinely guided to him?
After everything, I am not sure anymore. But I can tell you this, I was on a path of misery. I hated my life and myself so much that I could barely see the forest for the trees. I know that that path was leading me into darkness, and the path I am on now only leads to light.
Of course, it wasn’t just my current coach that led me here. Looking back there were so many choices that kept me going, kept me looking for something other than the misery I had associated with for so long. So many people helped me to get to this point. For all of you, I sincerely thank you.
So, where am I going with all of this? I want to tell you what I’ve learned.
There is only love.
Hate is a choice.
Forgiveness is truly about you, not the other person.
Our lives are our responsibility, no one else’s.
Your wounds are not your fault, but it’s your responsibility to heal them.
Be happy for no reason.
Judging someone else is also judging yourself.
Self-Love is not optional.
Our beliefs are agreements, not cages we must live in. The agreement can be changed anytime.
When we lose hope, we close the door to positive change.
I lived for nearly 33 years as a victim of my circumstances. All my problems were because of someone else. Life was happening to me. Just writing that out hurts.
Now, who am I? I am a woman who believes that life is happening for me. That I am fully supported by the universe. That I have it within me to change my life in positive ways. But I have to choose that path. I have to put energy into being the kind of person who lives that way, else I go back to living the other way… and I have no desire to do that.
I got so very lucky with my spiritual awakening – it allowed me to let go of so many things and see the world, and myself, in an entirely different light. But I certainly know that path isn’t for everyone. However, we can all choose to live better lives and face our fears head-on. I know it changed my life.
We are already a week into 2020 and I’m already learning how to move within this new year. As I fall in and out of old patterns, I am learning how to navigate this new space. How to stay in alignment with who I want to become. For a moment my ego had me believing that this was the harder path, the one where I keep my face to the light and work toward the change, I want to see within myself.
I nearly believed it.
But one thing kept me from falling all the way back: my feelings. I didn’t feel right. The things I was doing didn’t feel right. I just didn’t feel good. Here is the thing about drawing a line in the sand when it comes to your life, you won’t go back to the other way. I won’t willingly commit my life to misery again. I’ve found too much peace, love, and happiness within my self to do that again.
To stay on track we need to be intimately connected to ourselves and our bodies. Our feelings are our guidance system, they tell us when we are in alignment with ourselves. When we are we feel good, when we aren’t we don’t. For me, I tend to do anything to numb myself – television, food, whatever I can disappear into. Whatever it is you do you have to become aware of the pattern so you can break it.
So, 2020 since 2020 is here I’m going to share with you my intentions. I have a few goals too, but I think those are less important than how I want to show up this year.
To cultivate more stillness in my life.
To grow the relationship I’ve started with myself.
To continue down this spiritual path.
To follow my joy.
How are you showing up for 2020?
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