Okay, so I’m not doing great at the daily updates, I fully admit that. But I am here now, so let’s focus on what has been happening…
Since Sunday I have realized that I am great a giving, but I’m not great at consciously giving. Monday and Tuesday I had nothing to add to my list for the 29 Day Giving Challenge. It’s not that I didn’t give anything either of those days, but I never had a moment during them where I said, “This is my gift for today.” And I think that that is perhaps more important than just giving. To give consciously. To be fully aware of your actions. To take responsibility for your actions.
We live in an unconscious world, so many of the actions that we take daily are completely on autopilot. We don’t think about them we just go through the motions of doing them. Which is why I think this challenge should be different, and why I have decided to start over with day one today (Wednesday, May 13).
As I move through this challenge, I want to be able to say that I gave in full awareness. That I wasn’t just giving throughout the day and then decided that one of those unconscious actions was the one I dubbed “my gift.” I want to be mindful. I want to be present. I want to be more aware.
If you have been following since Saturday and doing something similar with your giving I encourage you to start over to and make this as much about being mindful of what you are giving and to whom as much as the act of giving itself. If you don’t want to, that is also okay, but I hope that you work on making an effort to give consciously for the rest of the challenge.
This morning I already gave a gift, and I decided that today it would be a gift to myself. I haven’t mediated since probably November of last year, and I know that it helps me, and keeps me connected to something bigger than myself, but I just haven’t been doing it. I’ve felt too stressed, I thought I had too much to do, and allowed my mental and spiritual health to be put on the back burner for things that I thought were more important.
So, as I settled in, closed my eyes, and drew in my first breath for a guided meditation I decided that this was my gift today. I gave myself the gift of stillness. I gave myself the gift of connection. I gave myself the gift of wellbeing. Part of my brain said that mediation couldn’t be my gift and that I certainly couldn’t give to myself, which is when I decided that “Yes, this absolutely was my gift.”
When we think of gifts we often think of something wrapped in pretty paper with a card and a bow. Likely something we bought (but not necessarily). We think it has to be physical, it has to show something (money, status, etc.) and in a lot of cases, we think of it as doing someone of a favor if it’s not a physical item.
Helping someone move can be a gift. Watching a family member can be a gift. Giving a hug to cheer someone up can be a gift. We dismiss so many things because they aren’t tangible, but what if we decided to change that it means to give? What if each breath is a gift to our bodies because it means we are alive in that moment? What if writing in a journal was a gift because it allowed us to release our anxiety and stress and helped us to feel better and be more present in our lilfe? What if watching the sunrise was a gift because it reminded us that we have another day to be alive?
So, that’s why today I gave myself the gift of meditation and tomorrow… who knows? Everything is on the table now.
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