So, this morning, as I am looking at my heart space, and I feel so open. And I am… confused. This feels different. It’s like the gentle breeze though the trees that makes them laugh as the leaves brush each other. It’s the cloud moving across the sky slowly so that you may watch in wonder. Ah, I see it now. There is an acceptance there. A surrendering to the truth of my life. A compassion I’ve never had for myself.
This journey has been so interesting. There have been so many parts of myself that I’ve seen in new light. So many things coming to the surface like trapped bubbles beneath the water. I am the exploding on the surface, beautiful and violent and ever rippling outward into the still water.
I’m sorry I’m speaking in riddles today, but it is the only talking that makes sense.
There is a Rumi quote, “You aren’t a drop in the ocean but the ocean in drop.” I used to think it merely beautiful, now I’m beginning to see it’s true.
I feel spread between two worlds today. On one hand there is the physical world in which I live, with the life I have created. On the other I feel as if I am the universe. Every exploding star, every organism, every life as it breathes and moves. I am infinite and ever expanding outward.
I’m not sure what scares me more – the fact that I am in this body or the fact that I am not.
I am watching my own unfolding. My own transformation from what was to what is. It scares a small part of me and delights a larger part of me. I feel as if I am dreaming and waking up at the same time.
What will the day bring if nothing but another step toward truth. Toward wholeness. Toward our ever-present awakening to myself.
I thought I knew who I was for a moment, but it’s gone now, and all I am left with is the surrender to the feeling in my chest: I am safe. I am loved. I am whole. I am healed. I am home.
Comments